Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World
Capt. Jack Aubrey: England is under threat of invasion, and though we be on the far side of the world, this ship is our home. This ship is England.
Another richly detailed naval saga, with incredibly visceral sea battles and a much finer eye toward cinematography. The endless lionizing of the crew, spotty characterization, erratic pacing and obnoxious would be Darwin subplot do diminish what would otherwise be an incredible film though.
7.5/10
Sergeant Gerry Boyle: The FBI lad, probably hadn’t had this much fun since they burned all those kids up in Waco.
A comedy as dark as black coffee and very much in the same vein as In Bruges (also starring Brenden Gleason and helmed by the director’s brother). Funny, though the humor is perhaps too reliant on inappropriate shock jokes and the lead being an ass, and interesting to watch even when the plot seems a bit predictable.
7/10
Bligh: He was insubordinate, cowardly and insubordinate, he frightened the men, I did not put that fear there, he did. So he will be lashed and we will go around the Horn.
One of the greatest casts you’ll find in a film, and some incredible detail even for a period piece. The scope of the story leads to a good bit of disjointed scenes, and some underdeveloped characters, but it is overall a stunning film to see.
8.5/10
Rubber Duck: Well piss on ya, and piss on your law.
A story as thin as you’d expect from something based off of an old country-western song, and directing as uneven as you’d expect from a man losing a fight to drugs, alcohol and depression. There are occasional glimmers of quality work, and the cast all does their best with what they’re given, but it’s a movie that never decides whether it’s a light comedic chase film, a tough guy action thriller, or a political statement.
4.5/10
Annie: This is the first time I’ve seen you look ugly, and that makes me happy!
As a comedy it works pretty well, and it’s very much in the vein of the Apatow films, with the added juxtaposition of fart jokes coming from women in fancy dresses. As a coherent story, it takes a ton of narrative shortcuts and doesn’t really end up being all that compelling.
7/10
Captain America: The First Avenger
Steve Rogers: I know this neighborhood. I got beat up in that alley. And that parking lot. And behind that diner.
Has a much better grasp of the kind of light hearted comedy and action than Thor, and it does a pretty great job of evoking old comic books. Unfortunately it also has some questionable decisions; namely deciding that Nazis weren’t evil enough, that the largest action sequence should be trimmed to a brief montage, and leaving the villain underdeveloped and unthreatening.
6.5/10
Rico Santos: I’m not negative. I’m just positive you’re gonna mess it up.
It is a bad sign when a series loses interest in its premise so blatantly, and when the lead talent all decide to sleepwalk/glower through their scenes. A heist/cool car/paramilitary/action/comedy film that is as dull and lifeless as it is flashy and over-the-top.
3/10
The Stranger: I was wrong, by the way… when I criticized your Tsars… for all this beauty and opulence. Even if they all were… tyrants.
As a narrative film or a brief history lesson on the Russian Empire, the film is far too vague and ephemeral to be effective or even especially interesting. What really makes this work stand out though, is the incredible technical achievements it managed, and the gorgeous artwork, costumes and architecture it showcases.
6.5/10
