Tatsuo Kusakabe: Trees and people used to be good friends. I saw that tree and decided to buy the house.
A movie that has the capability of being imaginative, cute, and fun when it sets out to be. The real issue, and perhaps this is a cultural difference, is that those moments were too few and far between, and the rest of the plot was far too sparse to hold it together.
5.5/10
Greg Stillson: I have had a vision that I am going to be President of the United States someday. And nobody, and I mean nobody is going to stop me!
Crisp photography, a few instances of gruesome violence, a great pro/an-tagonist pairing, and an excellent premise, but the movie moves way too slow and does too little. I suspect that the filmmakers tried too hard to stay true to the King story, and it left the film feeling sluggish and sparse on the most interesting elements of the plot.
6.5/10
The Criminologist: And crawling, on the planet’s face, some insects, called the human race. Lost in time, and lost in space… and meaning.
Whether you love camp or not, it’s pretty clear this is the finest campy film ever made. It can be a bit much at time, but the cast is fun, the music is great, and it is a really enjoyable film to watch.
8.5/10
Volumnia: Anger’s my meat; I sup upon myself, and so shall starve with feeding.
Obviously the script is unimpeachable, and the production values are pretty excellent as well, and exactly as violent and bloody as the story requires. The only major issues with the film are some poorly cast roles, and a plot that is badly condensed due to time constraints.
7/10
Rodrigo: Besides my money? A new life. And a new wife.
The movie features some brutal and really compelling fight scenes paired with a fairly rote espionage/double-cross style plot. The cinematography techniques that worked so well in most of Soderbergh’s films just do not fit this one though, and all of the performances seem purposefully muted and flat for whatever reason, creating a really strange tone.
6/10
The Incredible Burt Wonderstone
Steve Gray: Your skin makes me cry.
It’s always a pretty strong sign that you’re watching a mediocre comedy when they’ve exhausted all the decent joke material by midway through act 2, and decide that the audience really just wants to see the emotional plot resolution and redemptive arc. This was clearly a paycheck to most of the talent involved, and it was almost entirely forgettable, but not in any sort of aggressive or obnoxious way.
4/10
Rabbi Scott: Ha-ha-ha! That’s right, things aren’t so bad. Look at the parking lot, Larry.
Definitely the most enigmatic and open ended of the Coen brother’s films, but will all of the usual technical precision and artistic style that you can count on them for. As strange, meandering, and often confusing story, but extremely compelling and darkly funny, with a fantastic cast.
8/10
Warden: If I was to sink my teeth into your eye right now, would you be able to stop me before I blinded you?
It’s a film that has a stellar cast, a rich color palette, some really well done visual tricks, a strong score, and a really interesting plot hook that just doesn’t fail to work. With everything working in the film’s favor, the plot ends up being so silly and unconvincing that nothing really resonates very well.
5.5/10
Nikolai Luzhin: Sentimental value? Ah. I heard of that.
Perhaps not quite as emotionally edifying as a History of Violence, but the movie has an admirable sense of what to show and when. A movie that is remarkably restrained without being boring, with a brutally violent streak that never feels overdone, and a great cast and crew working behind it.
8/10
